Family Violence: It’s not OK

Family violence and indeed violence of any sort is not OK, and it is OK to help others and ask for help.

For several years the It’s not OK campaign has been actively promoting family violence prevention and encouraging violence-free behaviour clubs, organisations and communities.

It’s not OK has many partnerships in the sports sector.  It has proved a valuable and successful way to influence people’s attitudes and behaviour towards family violence.

Rugby in the most popular sport in New Zealand and plays a leading role in spreading this message. Several unions such as Northland and Bay of Plenty and some individual clubs have helped make a difference.

The stories of three of those clubs - Northern United, Clifton and the Upper Hutt Rams – are highlighted below.

Northern United (Norths) – Porirua, Wellington

Norths in Porirua is picking up the challenge to become a “violence-free zone”.

Since 2015, Norths have taken a stand against family violence, Club President Ron Wood said.
“We want people to understand family violence, know how to challenge people using violence, and support those affected by it.”

In April, the club invited It’s not OK campaign champion Vic Tamati to tell his story.

More than 60 players and their families heard about Vic’s violent upbringing and his use of violence to control his family, but also his story of change – to becoming a violence-free man, father and husband. He issued Norths with a challenge to declare the club and the community a “violence-free zone”.

Vic’s talk was followed by a Junior Club day which brought the community together to celebrate “family”.

“Family violence is not OK” flags fly along the road leading to Porirua Park/Jerry Collins Stadium as a reminder to themselves and their community.

 Clifton Rugby – Waitara, Taranaki

There’s been a change in the culture at Clifton Rugby Club in Waitara since the club established a partnership with It’s not OK in 2015, and people are noticing.

The club’s It’s not OK project aims to increase members’ understanding of family violence and show that family violence is not OK.

The project began in March 2015 and a club representative reports it’s led to positive changes.

“Quite a few of the Waitara League boys who have young kids have said to me that they are bringing their kids to Clifton next year. They will be up too because of the positive environment they witnessed on our family day!

“Also I have had a lot of the young boys’ parents compliment us on the campaign and how great it is that we are highlighting an issue in the community that is so often just covered up or not spoken about. They have already seen players’ and members’ attitudes to violence change.

“One kid who ‘loves a scrap’ walked away from one in town because he had met and talked to It’s not OK speaker Vic Tamati on our family day about our campaign and he said to me he thought about how his negative actions in town and any bad publicity will not look good for us as a club. I was blown away!” 

Upper Hutt Rams – Upper Hutt

 The Upper Hutt Rams Rugby Club has a membership of over 600 and a number of teams covering all grades.

The community has a high incidence of family violence but also a city council dedicated to reducing and preventing violence.

The Rams first teamed up with It’s not OK for the 2012 rugby season.

The club began by putting up posters in the clubrooms and sharing It’s not OK messages in after match speeches, on their website and Facebook page.

“Being involved with It’s not OK has made us realise that the club has a serious responsibility to look after our members particularly with the Netball Club using the clubrooms. We have hired security to ensure the environment is made as safe as possible on Saturday nights,” club spokesperson Wayne Radovic said.

Recognising the power of role-modelling and alcohol’s role in escalating violence, the club no longer gives drinks away as their ‘player of the day’ award.

The It’s not OK team has presented to the club’s Board and young players on how to help team mates, friends and family that may be affected by family violence. 

An It’s not OK award was introduced to acknowledge leadership and commitment to the club’s values and It’s not OK champion Vic Tamati told his personal story of becoming violence-free.

The change to a safer and more family-friendly environment has led to more involvement by women and children, including an increase in the after-match attendance at the clubrooms.

Commitment to family violence prevention from the top level of the club hierarchy has been critical to success. The project has been supported by the chairperson of the day – for example, all other clubs in Wellington received a letter from the chairperson of the Rams about appropriate sideline behaviour after an incident involving a spectator in Wellington.

The It’s not OK Campaign has been an important support for the project.

“Their support to us and assistance in delivering this project has been crucial to its success. We believe it is successful as we look to infect our wider Upper Hutt community with the principles of the campaign,” Radovic said.

 More information and resources

 For more information and links to resources about family violence see:

http://www.areyouok.org.nz/i-want-change/sports/

https://www.familyservices.govt.nz/directory/

Phone 0800 450 456 for information about support agencies

If you think a person is in danger due to family violence call 111.

If you think a child is at risk of abuse see:
http://www.cyf.govt.nz/keeping-kids-safe/if-you-are-worried/index.html