Wellington club rugby team profile: Johnsonville Cripples

Formed in 1985, the Johnsonville Cripples is one of the well-known lower grade teams that is part of the fabric of Wellington club rugby. The Cripples currently play in the Reserve Grade Division 2 competition. Last weekend they played their annual match against the Wests Mixed Veges for the Sandy Cup, going down 5-22.

Club: Johnsonville Rugby Football Club.

Team name: Cripples.

Team mascot: Smurf. The original mascot MO (a stuffed dog) was kidnapped by a gang of bikies and was last spotted somewhere on the East Coast sitting on a dozen beer crate and hanging out.

Home ground: Helston (Hell) Park.

How the team derived its name: The team was originally formed with retired Premier players, many of whom were injured/crippled/crocked.

Team origins: The team was formed in 1985 and was by invitation only - the national selectors were Barry Ellis, Craig Mcgrory, Peter Curle, Steve Ellis and Bruce Morrison (deceased). In the first three years this fledging team won the J4 grade and finished third the next season after the coach and a number of players went up to help our top team stave off relegation from the senior 2nd grade. The Cripples' proud tradition was then passed on to Terry Callesen (TC) and Chris Osborn for a couple of seasons and then onto the legendary Richard Eckhoff (NOFF) and the rest is history. The team has produced two Presidents, three Life Members, two Senior coaches and numerous committee members and team managers.

Competition currently playing: Reserve Grade

Biggest Rivals: The Western Suburbs (Wests) Mixed Veges have been the Cripples' biggest rivals for many years and the biggest match (matches) of the year are for the Sandy Cup played for between the two teams.

Darren Roberts, who played for the Mixed Veges, was a good mate of many of the Cripples' players. He was the partner of Sandy, who was also a long-time friend of some of the Cripples who had gone through school with her. Sadly, she died of cancer about 10 years ago and the Mixed Veges and Cripples decided to initiate a trophy in her honour, which is still played for today. ? ?

Magic Matches: The Cripples' most famous game of recent times was played during the 2011 Rugby World Cup. A game was arranged against the touring USA golden oldies team, the Milwaukee Harlequins, and the sheep were cleared from a paddock over in Ohariu Valley for the match to take place.

The visitors were given a traditional Maori welcome at the JRFC clubrooms at Helston Park before being transported over the hill (s) to the farm in the valley.

A beautiful spring day saw a huge crowd turn out for the 'international' and no quarter was given during the match with a number of injured players carted off to the sideline from both teams.

The bar did a roaring trade, then, after the obligatory speeches and presentations, the hangi was opened and it capped off a hugely successful day for the club, and the Cripples, which will go down in the club's folklore (See below). ???

Team rituals and traditions: Our most honoured award is the crutch which has been awarded every playing Saturday for the last 29 years and must be kept by the recipient's side until the next Saturday which has led to great matrimonial disharmony and the odd divorce. Looking forward we celebrate 30 years of existence next year which in itself is a major acheivement and says a lot for the NZ health system!

Experienced players: Noff Eckhoff (has been playing for the Cripples for 24 years), Perry Barber (23 years), Sam Manu (18 years) and Phil Moreton (20 years).

On player retention and rejuvenation: Word of mouth, loyalty and enjoyment of being with like-minded social rugby players keeps us going.

Excerpts from The Dominion Post coverage of the Cripples-Milwaukee Harlequins match at Ohariu Valley Stadium in 2011:

Sheep have been cleared from the Ohariu Valley Pony Club paddock for this one-off clash between the two teams whose players have an average age of around 45 years.

About 340 people have turned out for the social event of the season for the Johnsonville club, whose members have put down a hangi, are optimistically cranking out Queen's We Are The Champions from the sound system, and doing a roaring trade in Lion Brown.

''He looks too young, he's far too young. He should be banned,'' yelled a woman from the sideline as American Adam Blaeske, 23, sprinted up the sideline with the ball.?

The touring Milwaukee team had a secret weapon in winger Sarah Thomas, 24, one of three women playing for the side -- who wasn't fazed one bit about the guys she was up against.?

As she talked, one of her team-mates hobbled down the sidelines behind her, propped up by two players. ''Oh yeah, he popped his knee out, but he'll be alright,'' she said casually.

One of the visitors had been alarmed when he heard about the Cripples match. ''I thought they were people with deformed legs and things like that.''

After their halftime teamtalk, the Cripples pulled back to win-- well, no-one really knew what the score was, actually.

''We won five tries to one,'' captain Richard 'Noff' Eckhoff claimed, as the first cans were cracked open. ''We got a couple of younger players in halfway through the game which helped us out a bit. It was tough, it was tougher than we thought.''

And the Americans loved it too. ''Every time you look around, you are like, 'this is totally worth breaking my neck for,' said Blaeske, gazing at the surroundings.

But as the sun went down and the hangi steam rose over the Ohariu Valley hills, it was Hugo Hanekom who probably summed it up best. ''All of us have one thing in common: We talk rugby.'' ? ?